


The Personal War of Alternis Dim and Victor S. Court

by Misedejem



Category: Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Humour, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 21:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5556386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misedejem/pseuds/Misedejem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternis and Victor's rivalry stoops to the level of a prank war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Personal War of Alternis Dim and Victor S. Court

“I swear, it was an accident,” Alternis claimed, placing his right hand to his chest, “I swear on my life.”

Truthful as it was, the Dark Knight was grateful he had his helmet to hide the flush of his face and the twitching of his lips. It took every ounce of strength not to burst into a fit of laughter at the sight before him, knowing full well that even a giggle would probably cost him his morning coffee in exchange for terrible burns. As it was, Victor was too mad to consider healing him, and difficult as it was to admit, there was no better doctor in all Eternia.

Both Victor and Victoria were dripping with tea, a thoroughly unimpressed look contorting their faces. Neither of them could bear to look at him, and the empty mug in Victor’s hand shook.

“An accident? You expect us to believe that?” Victoria hissed, face to face with him in a matter of seconds, using her cursed magic to propel herself to his height in mid-air. Alternis wanted to step backwards, but that would be showing weakness. He stood his ground and tried to regulate his breathing.

“There was salt in my tea, Alternis.” Victor didn’t even turn to face him. Honestly, that was probably because his glasses were splashed with tea and he was practically blind without them. “I was aware that you lived up to your surname, but nobody could be so incredibly dense that they would mistake the salt for sugar. It’s clearly labelled. Can you not read, hm?”

“I…” Alternis felt a sinking feeling in his gut and knew to back away. “I’m sorry. I’ll send someone in to mop up.”

***

“If only we had stalled him a few seconds more, I could have destroyed him for what he did to me.”

Victor decided not to point out that he was the one who had been splashed with the most scalding tea, and he was the one wearing white. A conflict with Victoria was unnecessary, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He’d had burning liquid dumped on his lap before. She was new to the experience.

“I’m not even sure why Alternis made me a drink in the first place unless he had the malicious intention of tricking me. He is not my friend, you know that.”

“So you’re saying he did it on purpose? How rude!”

“Just so. I have to say, I wouldn’t have expected Alternis to stoop so low as to pull a petty prank like that.”

Victoria began to chew her thumb and came to sit on his chair arm. For a while, she was silent, and a wide grin slowly crept onto her face. “What if we got payback somehow?” She suggested after a while, her eyes lighting up with that childish glee that always melted whatever hard exterior Victor had. He could never say no to that look, though in this case he did not want to.

“Hmm? You mean we play our own practical joke on the Dark Knight?”

“I was thinking of something far more basic than that,” she replied, that malicious grin threatening to split her face.

***

Victor’s muscles bunched and strained as he pressed himself against the wooden crate, willing it to move. The icy wind blasted his still damp hair about his face, but despite all that he was still sticky with sweat. “You really have no upper body strength, do you?”

“…No…”

His arms screamed for mercy and his chest hurt, but he kept pushing regardless.

“And maybe if you actually ate like a normal person, you’d be heavy enough to budge it,” the girl continued to jest from inside Edea’s room.

Victor remained silent as he shoved the crate to the stone barricade of the balcony and began to heave it to rest atop it. Panting heavily and feeling physically sick to the stomach, he gave the crate one final nudge. With that, it plummeted forty-eight floors and split with an audible crack that rang out louder than the wind.

“Crystals, what was that?”

“Somebody fetch the Lord Marshal or someone! I think I saw something fall from the balcony in Miss. Lee’s bedroom!”

Victor and Victoria were both giggling on Edea’s bed when Alternis burst in to see what had happened, sword drawn and chest heaving. He had run all the way up there.

“What did you do?” he asked, his voice wavering as he approached the balcony. Victor could pinpoint the moment when his spirit was ripped in two as he lay his eyes on the shattered remains of the crate, which had mostly come to rest on a balcony several floors below.

“Victor…” he straightened and turned to face him, visibly shaking. “What did you do to my coffee!?”

***

“Odd…” Victor mused to himself, ignoring the soldiers and civilians alike who saluted to him as he made his morning trek to the outskirts of Eternia. There were no guards posted outside the café, which meant Alternis wasn’t inside. He shrugged it off and climbed into the taxi carriage, shaking the snow out of his hair and pulling his scarf over his mouth. There was no sign of Alternis along the valley path to Central Command either, nor in the building itself. How incredibly perplexing. Perhaps he was sick?

“Good morning Victori- GAH!” Victor froze on the spot, gripping the handle of his office door so tightly that his gloves strained.

Six pairs of eyes all met his, and six grins appeared on six flawlessly beautiful faces. The succubae flicked their tails and batted their eyelashes, but Victor’s gaze fell short of them and focussed on the shreds of paper and spatters of ink that littered the floor. A vein stood out in his forehead and he bared his teeth.

“Alternis Dim!” He snarled, looking straight at the figure that two of the succubae were draped around, caressing gently. All six seemed in some sort of a trance around him.

“Hello Victor.”

“Alternis, what happened in here? What did you do to my paperwork?”

“The succubae followed me and wrecked your things.”

“Why did they do that, huh?” The doctor was beyond all patience, surely Alternis could see that.

“I’m a ladies’ man,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

Victor growled. “You used the demon charm ability of the Dark Knight, didn’t you?”

“I…” Alternis stiffened and let his guard down. “Yes…”

“I can’t… Why would… Where did you even find them!?”

“Vampire Castle…”

“Vampire Castle? Oh, oh of course. Well, I’m going to have a word with Lord DeRosso. You have ten seconds to get rid of those sex demons!”

“Where’s your sense of humour gone?”

“I’m telling the Templar you-”

“Alright, I’m going!”

***

Alternis rolled over in his sleep, roused by a creak in on his floorboards. A sliver of light emitted from his door, which was open slightly. A cold sweat broke out and he attempted to reach for his sword, which was propped up next to him. Then it hit him. The overwhelming smell of wet paint. Alternis quickly grabbed an oil lamp and a match, casting the dim candlelight over to where the smell was dispersing. There, hunched over something, was the unmistakable figure of Victor S. Court, still dressed in his coat and tie. He turned to look at Alternis over his shoulder and smiled. The bridge of his nose was splattered with coloured paints.

“What are you doing? Get out of my bedroom!”

“I’ve got a present for you,” he replied, his eyes widening.

Alternis crawled out of bed. “What’s the paint for?”

“You’ll see!” the doctor assured jovially. Alternis swallowed. And screamed.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ARMOUR YOU FOUR-EYED NERD!?”

“Is that really the best insult you can come up with?” Victor asked, his usual deadpan expression and tone reappearing.

Alternis whimpered, staring in horror at the suit of armour he had cherished so dearly. Every inch of it was covered in paint, a rainbow of stinking liquid that turned the black into the garish eyesore of a clown.

“You’ve ruined it.”

“Oh please. Lord DeRosso gave me a water-based paint. It’ll come off.”

“…”

“Alternis?”

“That’s beside the point you son of a bitch!” Alternis lunged before Victor could see what he was doing and seized the staff that rested beside him, taking off into the hall.

Victor shrieked and chased after him, pursuing him up several flights of stairs. By the time they reached the Council chamber, the spiritmaster was taking laboured breaths and his glasses had fogged up from the heat he was radiating. Alternis jeered and leapt over the chairs, making for the roof and the airship docks. It was a few minutes before Victor met him there, reaching out to grab his staff and stumbling along the way.

“Alternis… Come now… You’re being… ridiculous…”

“You’re the one who painted my armour. Did Victoria tell you to do that?”

“No… I… That was my genius and mine alone.”

Alternis scoffed. “I thought you were more mature than that.”

“You let sex demons destroy my belongings!”

“How else was I supposed to use that ability? It’s practically useless.”

Alternis stepped back as Victor lunged for the staff and the doctor hit the floor, groaning.

“Alternis!”

Again and again Alternis jumped out of Victor’s reach as the man writhed around in the snow, trying to grasp some part of him. Alternis’ bare feet were so numb he could barely feel them, and his pyjamas were soaked through from the snow. No wonder he didn’t realise that he was falling suddenly until Victor cried out and the roof disappeared from sight.

***

Alternis’ head throbbed as he began to come to. The room about him was a sterile white and beneath him he could vaguely feel the presence of a soft, feather mattress. It was oddly familiar. He’d been here before.

“Central Healing Tower?” he murmured, trying to move his fingers. When he was satisfied, he probed his chest where a throbbing pain was coming from to find a long, thin bruise there. Curious.

“Alternis, you’re awake,” a familiar voice chimed. Before he could register who it was, the palm of a hand whipped across his face and his cheek began to sting.

“Nice to see you too Holly…” he winced, clasping his face.

“I can’t believe you’d be so stupid as to fall off Central Command. If Victor hadn’t caught you with his staff, you’d be dead.”

That explained the bruise.

“I can’t believe he won…”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing… Never mind… Anyway, thank you for healing me.”

“Oh?” Holly tilted her head and then laughed. “Oh, I didn’t heal you. No need to thank me. I was just in town and I heard you got injured, so I came to say hi. Another doctor is tending to you.”

“Another doctor?”

“Look who’s finally awake,” someone else mused, entering the room. Alternis’ blood chilled at the sound of that nasally voice he despised so much. Holly swept out of the room, leaving Alternis alone with him.

His doctor.

Victor.

“Alternis, I brought you some food to get your strength back up,” he told him plainly, though he was smiling. That wasn’t good. Victor placed a large slice of cake onto his lap and the Dark Knight felt sick to the stomach.

“You’re not serious.”

“I’m not leaving until you eat every bite of that. Doctor’s orders.” He began to laugh, but Alternis threw his head back and drowned him out with his screaming.

**Author's Note:**

> These two are such serious characters, that I had to find something a little more lighthearted for them to do.


End file.
